J. J. White

 

 

Through the Valgrind Forest, where slithering hystricides fling their quills at the unsuspecting. Through the tunnels of Eldnor and into the mountains of Grenadier where cave trolls feast on the eyeballs of trespassers. And down into the Valley of the Specters where traps laid centuries ago slice men into pieces no larger than a pebble. Through all those trials and others so evil they can’t be mentioned, the handsome Prince Kenneth rode to save his beloved Princess Barbara from the monster dragon, Talonfire.

From the bottom of the valley, the good Prince Kenneth spied the dragon’s lair, a great cave carved into a wall of granite. Smoke billowed out menacingly from the home of the behemoth Talonfire, a dragon so fierce, men had taken their own lives rather than face its razor sharp claws and teeth.

Prince Kenneth rejoiced when he saw his betrothed, sitting high atop a precipice, until he noticed she was a prisoner of some fantastic beam of light that prevented her escape. She waved and blew him kiss after kiss as her long blond hair billowed in the strong winds.

“I come my love,” the prince said. “I come to rescue you from that which is most foul and evil. I come to rescue you from the devil himself, the wretched Talonfire.”

A great flame shot out of the cave, followed by a huge roar and a throaty laugh. Prince Kenneth shuddered and backed off from the entrance, as the dragon sang his song,

            “Prince Kenneth comes to save his love,

            But wait, tis not to be.

            First, must he defeat the one,

            who’ll pick his bones of meat.”

Talonfire laughed again, seemingly quite amused with himself for creating such a wonderful song, on such short notice.

An enormous ring of smoke drifted out of the cave. The dragon shot out into the middle of the ring and then dove at tremendous speed toward Prince Kenneth.

“Protect me mighty Agincourt!” Prince Kenneth yelled to his magic sword. He lifted his shield just as Talonfire swooped upon him with a fireball of quick death. The flames deflected off the shield as Prince Kenneth stabbed Agincourt into the neck of Talonfire, striking a long bloody gash on the purple dragon.

“Agggh!” Talonfire screamed and whipped his tail around to pummel the fair prince, but the prince was too quick and escaped up a gently sloping knoll near the granite wall.

When Talonfire returned to his lair, Prince Kenneth scrambled up the top of the cliff and waited precariously close to the edge just above the dragon’s cave. He smiled at the princess and watched her lovingly, knowing he couldn’t free her from her bright cage until he had slain the dragon.

“Oh my sweet Kenneth,” Princess Barbara cried. “Please, take care, for the monster Talonfire has defeated all my rescuers, hence. I do not wish you the same fate, just for my sake.”

“Fear not, my love,” Prince Kenneth replied. “Agincourt will find its mark in the purple beast. There is naught but death for Talonfire this day.”

A queer voice rang out from the cave.

            “There is naught but death, it’s true,

            It comes not soon to me, I say,

            The slain not purple, orange or blue.

            Death will greet a prince today.”

And with a flash, Talonfire flew from the cave to finish his foe, but Prince Kenneth was ready and jumped from the cliff, landing on Talonfire’s broad purple neck.

Talonfire whipped his head from side to side to throw the brave prince from his back, but Prince Kenneth remained steadfast and raised Agincourt high to strike a blow into the dragon’s head.

A scream which no man had ever heard before came out of the wounded dragon. Agincourt had found its target and pierced Talonfire’s left eye through to the hilt of the sword.

Down and down the purple beast fell, its strength nearly spent as it crashed onto the valley floor. Prince Kenneth slid off the fallen dragon and pulled Agincourt loose from the dragon’s dark eye. He held the bloody sword high in the air and shouted, “For you, my beloved Princess Barbara!”

In a last desperate strike, Talonfire slipped his enormous mouth around Prince Kenneth’s head and chomped clean through the neck with its razor sharp teeth.

“Okay, what’s going on here, Angela,” Mrs. Giles said to her seven-year-old. “I called you to dinner ten minutes ago, and why is your Barbie doll on top of the lamp?”

“That’s not a lamp,” Angela said. “It’s a fantastic light beam cage. The dragon Talonfire has kidnapped Princess Barbara from her beloved Prince Kenneth.” Angela waved her stuffed Barney in front of her mother. Mrs. Giles laughed.

“Yeah, I see. Old Talonfire looks pretty mean.” She pointed to the floor. “Why does your Ken doll have his head missing?”

Angela picked up Ken’s headless body and shoved his neck into Barney’s purple mouth. “Because Talonfire chomped his head off before he died.”

“Great, just great.” Mrs. Giles said, shaking her head. “All right, young lady. Re-attach Ken’s head, pick up your toys, and come to dinner—and no more video games with your brothers.”

Mrs. Giles mussed up Angela’s hair and playfully slapped her daughter’s bottom as she walked out of the room.

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